Okay, here it is!

Research

A good scholar or student will tell you that “research is but the only way to success,” but I’ve only ever viewed research as a bad thing. People like being right, and often one will write or say something instinctively, something that person will be proud of. Research only makes them feel bad about writing or saying it, because research will so often prove one wrong.
Not doing research is all of the rage these days. Over 10,000 American students are refusing to do research, and that leaves about 300 other students, or at least that’s what the internet doesn’t say. And even in office buildings, research is considered “Overrated” and “Boring”. One organization, Toyota’s owner stated in a personal interview “We think research holds us back from ‘Moving forward.’ We don’t hire somebody based on how well recommended they come, it’s usually about how high they can make the speedometer go. So really, it’s about how high they can count.”
Writers too like to hurry up and not do research. It can be easily seen in modern writing, you must merely open any book marked “fiction”. All of these have a gross pattern of having done a miniscule amount of research. Still, one cannot blame them; writing is hard enough without having to open another book every five minutes.
Perhaps no media knows what they are doing, but I find this unlikely. I don’t believe that the “news” could legally be called that if it didn’t have news in it. I myself have never seen a single television program with any opinion in it, proving the fact that the news does, in fact, use research.
So all this adds up to three questions: is research worth the time or the effort? Do you get a better product from doing research? What counts as “Research”?
Even a genius like myself cannot figure out the answer yet, but step one is to break up each question; for example, the first question and second questions can be figured out by writing this equation: “research = time research takes*effort = outcome” and then the question simply becomes “Is it worth it?” unfortunately, we humans have no good measurement of effort except for how much you make per hour divided by how long the research takes. So if it takes you 5 minutes, and you make 10 dollars per hour, it comes out to “research = 10=outcome.” The lower the number, the worse the outcome will be but the less bored you become.
The third question uses the same equation, but with something extra. You must divide by one of these numbers: by 1 if your source is a book or legal website (C.I.A. files, Wikipedia, ETC.) by 5 if the source is fiction or a blog (Unless you’re doing a book report, in which case divide by 1.), and by 10 if it’s a song. If you didn’t have a source, subtract 5. So the final equation is R = (T($PH÷T))÷S=O.
If the outcome is 5 or above, then your research was worth it! Here’s the equation for this paper:
R = (0(0÷0))-5 = -5. Wow. ~Pact Tieren Dighd