Here's the new one

Presidential seal draft

The presidential seal. That sounds important, right? Now that you’re old enough to know that it’s not just the president of ice bergs, you’re ready for the mature truth. It has to be some sort of secret thing that only twenty-one-year-olds are allowed to know, right?
Right!
We all know how important mail is to the government is, right? Naturally without it, our lives would be government-less and therefore pointless. (Or the senate would learn to talk to each other face to face .1)
And would it not be a bit awkward if the president had to hand in a veto in person? Irritating questions like “What do you mean you don’t think that you think citizens should be allowed to kill each other?” can be avoided by merely sending your veto in letter form.
But how can you make the president’s letter official? Umm, aside from the signature and witnesses of him or her writing it? That’s where the seal comes in. If it’s at the top off a letter, then you know that that letter was from the president to congress. This way, the president can feel just as important and official as every single six-year-old who makes a symbol for him or herself.
However, some speculate that there’s more to it than that. People might have proof that perhaps maybe Bill Clinton kind of burned or sold the old silverware from the White house and almost replaced it with synthetic sporks and fake forks. If this is kind of true, then maybe the reason nobody minded was because the new simulated spoons were special in some way. Well, what would make them more official, less informal, so that even ambassadors from foreign countries wouldn’t see what was wrong with these not real knives?
Hmmm, I wonder…
Hey, I know! How about… the subject of this essay?
So the president’s job is to make more money for war by selling old furniture and property of the white house, buy new stuff, and make it unique by putting the seal on it.
At least that’s what some believe. The saner of us know the truth about the most important symbol in the world, except for maybe this one: M
In emails, the president copies and pastes the seal into it. Unfortunately, It's too easy to get a hold of on the internet, and is often used for practical jokes. Anyone who comments on this page is subject to one of those.

1HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!